It has been awhile since I posted on my blog. Alot has happen, disappointments, joyful moments, emotional repression, and stress. All I can say is that I'm a little sad about my life right now. Too much stress, and disappointments.. For example, school: I applied for English Honors, Chemistry, and AP Modern World. I got rejected out of all, except AP Modern World, which I had been put into the waiting list, so i'm hoping that i will be accepted in that class.
English Honors, I wasn't that upset. But Chemistry?!? I was suppose to make it into that class but i didn't. I negotiated with my counselor about. She says my math and arithmitic excells most of my peers who made it into Chemistry...So all she could say was "You should've made it into it, I don't know why you didn't. Go ask your science teacher." So I did ask my science teacher, and it seems like he is not doing much about it, which pisses me off. If you are not going to do your job, then get the hell out of here. My science teacher is a new teacher, because my old one had to go take care of her baby.
My grades were horrible because of my three gay teachers. So, I had this new mandarin teacher, he was a real asshole. He doesn't teach the class, he yells at the class, he doesn't give a shit about anything. I had an even called BSA (Brotherhood Sisterhood Association) which allowed me to be pulled out of class. And since i was pulled out it was my responsiblity to make up my work, which i did, but he claims my work wasn't good enough so he rejected it and he didn't even explain to me how to do it in the first place. Therefore, he gave me C for the quarter because i didn't do the 2 assignments well enough..I guess i was lucky, there were many, many, many people with D's and F's with this new mandarin teacher. But the only good thing is that my old mandarin teacher is back, so i will be regaining my 100+% in that class again.
In biology, i was also pulled out of my class and i missed couple assignments, which were worksheets. So i asked him if i could get the worksheets, but his reply was "I don't have anymore" and he shrugs his shoulders. WTF. He doesn't have anymore? If he doesn't have anymore, then MAKE MORE. It is suppose to be his responsibility to hand us work. So i dropped about 10% so he gave me a B..This happened to all the people who went to BSA, so i know it wasn't my fault.
And we have english...I missed about 2 days of him which made me miss 2 chapters of reading. But i couldn't read the 2 chapters i missed, because i couldn't bring the book home, and the story online doesn't match the book at school, so i'm basically screwed.
In conclusion, my grades were awful, horrible, appalling.. 3.83 to a 3.17.
Grades and not getting into the classes of my choice weren't my only downfalls.
Track.
I've been training so hard these pass weeks, but i'm not improving as much as i want to. Is it possible that i'm training too hard and overworking my body, not enough rest, or is it the other way around, not working hard ENOUGH? Is it lack of determination? Lack of will? lack of power or form? or is it a lack of something else.
My coach and my captain says don't worry about it. my captain says i'm tryin really really hard. he says the thing that only matters is what I do at all city. we will have about half a week's rest. So hopefully, i will be PRing. (personal record).
Well, i rarely had any happy moments at this point. Maybe i should be relaxing and chilling out and be happy about my life. But I am a person who worries quite alot. I am a person who is scared to fail, and not be able to elate the people around me. I am a person who tries hard, and i hope this hardwork will payoff.